Monday, December 28, 2009

What It Takes to Heal: Willingess to Keep Peeling the Onion, No Matter What

The other night, I had a surprising spontaneous healing session with the ponies. It was nightfall, and they were finished eating. I was just giving them some love, when Seren let me know it was time for some healing “work.”

It’s one thing when I go out with an intention to work on something for myself, but it still surprises me when THEY decide it’s time.

Lately, I’ve been doing my best to listen to my intuition, both with the horses, and without. But sometimes I still argue.

So when I’m standing next to Seren and I get the sense I’m supposed to kneel down and put my forehead on the ground, I resist. It’s cold out, the ground isn’t exactly clean…there are a million reasons, but the prompting persists, so I acquiesce.

I’m hanging out with my forehead on the ground wondering what the heck this is about and Seren touches a spot on my back, and the tears start flowing.

Wow- sometimes that’s all it takes to access a hidden issue- a posture, a simple touch.

And then words start flowing with the tears, words I don’t have any meaningful reference for, at least in this lifetime.

Words like, “I couldn’t save them. I wanted to be there. I couldn’t get there. They wouldn’t let me. I should have been there.” Over and over again, with so much grief. I get the sense it must be a past life scene. It feels like maybe my family was killed when I was away.

And then the tears clear, there is a moment of rest, I’m sitting up and Seren is taking some energy off of my shoulders and the top of my head- she bites my hat, grabbing something that no longer is serving me.

Then a new prompting occurs- “Lie down on your back” this one says.

“Are you crazy? It’s freezing out here. What if the horses step on me? Can I be safe? I’m not doing that!”

But it continues. Ok, fine. I’ll do it. So I lie back on the frozen ground, with my head out of the paddock for a little more security. And I start crying again, and shivering, with my thighs shaking. I keep saying, “I’m so cold, I’m so cold.”

I really am cold, but it seems like that I HAVE to be physically cold because that’s part of this past life scene that is being cleared- a cold and lonely death sometime, some place.

The tears continue, until they stop, and there is some peace, before the next prompting.

“Continue lying there, but put your hands behind you back.” I’m thinking, that’s crazy- but heck, it’s not any crazier then what I’ve already done, so fine- here you go. Let’s get this over with because I want to go inside where it’s warm!”

And that posture sets off an entirely new healing scene, a clearing of a fiery death by persecution it seemed. That’s not the kind of death anyone deserves.

All the while, Seren is standing watch over me, keeping me safe, assisting with clearing the energy, guiding the process. And Charm is holding space as an assistant directly across the fence.

Apparently Frolic and Little Man aren’t invited to this party, because whenever they come close, they get run off. Even the dogs aren’t allowed close by. This must be serious healing time.

And Seren plays her role perfectly, majestically, lovingly as leader of the healing herd- always letting me know when the work is done.

When I finally rise from the ground, I give all of the ponies thanks and hugs for their beautiful, willing, life-affirming service and I hurry inside to get warm.

Arriving back in, a lot later than my husband was expecting me, I utter, “Darn I’m cold!”

“Good thing I have something for you”, he says, as he hands me a huge mug of homemade hot chocolate.

And I feel like the luckiest girl in the world- surrounded by such supportive healing angels- both inside and out!!

As my own healing journey continues deeper and deeper, I am discovering that true healing really only requires one thing:

That we show up and fully ALLOW whatever needs to take place, to unfold.

Today I learned about the added power of posture to trigger that which needs to be released.

And fostered a deeper understanding that past life traumas often get carried into this life in our bodies and need to be cleared and released. Especially traumatic past deaths.

That sometimes these will come up to be cleared just when you are ready to take an important step forward that those energies may be preventing. And so they come up to be released.

Healing is about your willingness to get still, to go within, and to allow whatever feelings & energies come up, to play out in their entirety- giving them whatever words, sounds, postures, or tears come naturally, until you reach the stillness again.

Knowing that one more layer of that which no longer serves you, is gone for good.

And we need to keep showing up, peeling the layers away like an onion, until we reach the pure love that resides at the very center of us all.

And always, when you are ready, the horses stand prepared to assist us on this most amazing healing journey toward wholeness and love.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Ice's Christmas Message: How to Connect with your Departed Loved Ones

I know the holidays can be a hard time for anyone who has lost someone they love. To never be able to see, touch, or hear a beloved again, particularly during special times- nothing makes the heart heavier.

So, if you are one of those people with a heavy heart this season, I have a message to pass on: Your loved one is really only a thought away.

When you put your attention on feeling your love for them, their energy and love will join you. You can be together again, if only in spirit- for now.

I am an unlikely carrier of this message, given that up until 3 years ago I was a proud atheist.

I believed that when you died, that was it. Kaput. Nothing. Blackness forever more.

Now I know different.

Now I know that your spirit lives on and can continue to comunicate with those who love you, because love is the universal language and your spirit never dies- it only changes form.

How can I be so sure?

Well, a LOT has happened to me to convince me of this over the past few years, but mostly right now, I want to share with you the story of how my beloved departed greyhound taught me that love can reach out through all time and space to connect you once more, whenever you choose- so that you too may know the comfort of your own loved one again.

You know those stories about how after someone close to a person has died, they feel like they have been visited by their loved one?

When it happens to you, you don’t just feel it- you know it and now it’s real. It’s truth.

I never expected it to happen to me.

Many of you may remember our greyhound Ice who passed away this summer (You can read more about him here: Serving with Love) But all you need to know is that shortly before his death, I discovered that he has been one of my spirit guides- holding a similar mission of spreading love on earth and supporting me on mine.

He crossed over after a very long, loving life, and it was time. Not that it makes it much easier.

Several weeks had passed and occasionally I’d still find myself breaking down in tears, missing a dog I didn’t realize how much I had loved.

One day, while I was driving on the highway, I suddenly noticed tingles on the right side of my head, and out of the corner of my left eye I got the impression that Ice had returned to tell me that he was well. I had a picture of him jumping around and showing me how much he enjoyed his new body. And tears of recognition shook right through me.

Just at the moment when the vision passed, my attention turned to the song playing on the car radio and I immediately knew it was a message from Ice.

I had caught the tail end of Lonestar’s I’m Already There.

This is what I heard:

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share?
Oh I'm already there

We may be a thousand miles apart
But I'll be with you wherever you are

(If you’d like to hear the whole song, here is a YouTube link of the video: Already There )

Of course those words made me cry even harder. And right then, Ice’s real owner, my husband Greg called me on the cell phone to check in. Coincidence? Yea right!

What a wonderful and timeless message it was: A reminder that through our love, we will always be connected. And that I can feel his love all around me in the gifts of nature.

This holiday season Ice wanted me to remind you that that’s all you have to do to connect with your loved one:

Feel the love that you share and they will already be right there with you.

What a gorgeous gift Ice came back to offer to me and I feel blessed to have recognized it and allowed it into my awareness. My hope is that you will take his message and play with it, to lighten your heart and bring your loved ones near.

I know it wasn’t a fluke because Ice came back to me several times, always while driving the same stretch of highway, always with those same tingles and tears, and usually bringing a message via the radio!

Even now as I write this, there are those head tingles, letting me know I am not alone, and that writing this was not MY idea!

There was a time when I would have needed an explanation for how any of that was possible.

But not any longer.

I have seen the light and I know we are all connected by love.

I'll leave you with this poem that came through the Colorado Beagle Rescue, just in time to be included here. It echos my message and brought tears to my eyes- if only we could know how close our loved ones really are!!! It's written from the crossed over pet's perspective to his still grieving owner.

The End of my Journey

I stood by your bed last night. I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me."

You looked so very tired as you sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be so near you everyday,
To say with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there quietly, then smiled, I think you knew.
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over...I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come to be with me.

- Author unknown

Go forth in that love this Christmas, holding your loved ones close, and allow miracles to unfold around you.

May you be blessed with love.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

A Mother-Daughter Healing Team Blossoms

In the last few healing sessions, my heart has gotten all warm and fuzzy watching how Serendipity and Frolic, mother and daughter, have been working together to assist clients in dissolving blocks.

It’s becoming ever clearer that they do their work best in a tag team format. Obviously, each has their own niche and role in the healing process, because when one is done with their part, they walk off and the other steps in.

Frolic, ever curious, open, and friendly seems best at welcoming clients in, making them comfortable, and getting them in touch with whatever block most needs to be released.

With the deeper core issue exposed, Seren steps in to lead the cleansing, clearing, and releasing that is needed to dissolve a block.

It’s a beautiful dance without an obvious choreographer, each simply knowing when the time is ripe for their work and stepping in silently, willingly, lovingly.

There are barely words for how it touches me, to watch these animals I adore so deeply, work their magic.

When Seren came to me all those years ago as a barely broke 4 year old who became my eventing show horse, I have to admit I never would have guessed that deep within her was a healer waiting to serve. It was never in the plans that we would take this journey of healing together.

And I never would have guessed the reason why I felt a compelling, illogical urge to bring Seren’s yearling Frolic back with her to Colorado when Seren finally retuned to me after 5 years as a broodmare.

“We needed a yearling, like we needed a hole in the head,” as my husband Greg likes to say. And he was right, but I just KNEW she was supposed to be with us.

It wasn’t till a few more years later that I discovered WHY she was meant to be ours.

My favorite animal communicator, Kali Crosby, explained it to me after the Healing Ranch was up and running.

She said Seren calls herself a healer and when she made babies, she did her best to create horses that could also be healers. But when the time came for Seren to return from Wisconsin to me, she had not taught Frolic enough yet so she wanted Frolic to come along with her. So that eventually, they would work together as a team.

Funny- with the cranky way Seren treated Frolic, you wouldn’t have known she WANTED her around! Ah, mother-daughter antics I suppose.

I’ve been fascinated watching Seren train up Frolic in the healing arts. In the very beginning, Frolic was only allowed to watch.

As time passed, Seren would step back and invite Frolic to try the work. And as Frolic worked, Seren would occasionally walk on over and offer some advice (by breathing into each other’s noses) before departing to keep her watchful eye on the process close by.

This summer, I could tell that Frolic was taking her final exams, as most often Seren held back and Frolic took the lead. I knew she passed her test because you almost couldn’t get Seren to step in- as she was allowing Frolic the space to grow her abilities.

And now, it has come full circle, where they work together just about as equals- each playing their own unique role in the healing.

I can tell there are still some times when Frolic has more knowledge to absorb. Especially when doing deep work with me, Seren will keep Frolic back, asking her to just soak in the process. Which being so curious and helpful by nature, Frolic has a hard time doing! She always wants to help!

What a beautiful gift they have been to me- and to all that encounter them. To have my very first horse, and now her daughter, beside me- all of us with the same intention- to lead people back to their magnificent selves-the selves they came here to be.

I couldn’t wish for any finer companions on this amazing journey of healing and discovery. Thank you girls for being angels in a horse-y disguise! The transformative power of your love never ceases to amaze me.

And I can’t wait to watch the path unfold even further along side of you and the other amazing members of the Healing Horse Herd.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Horse Wisdom: Trust Thyself

During a recent client session, the healing herd did a really unusual thing.

They all laid down. Not just down. But all the way out on the ground- all four of them. At least one was snoring in fact.

“I didn’t know horses snore!,” my client remarked.

This was astonishing.

As creatures of prey, horses are constantly vigilant for predators.

So, almost always when it’s sleepy time, at least one of the herd remains standing, as sentinel, guarding the vulnerable, resting horses from danger.

And humans, especially strange, unfamiliar ones, like a new client, fit in the category of potential predator, until proven innocent.

So, horses will rarely lie down with people they don’t know well. Even when they know you well, some horses never will lie down with you close by. When they do- it’s a huge sign of trust.

So, here were 4 horses, all who not only were on the ground, but laid flat out- the most vulnerable position possible for a horse- with me and my client standing nearby.

One of the tenants of equine-assisted work is to always assume that what the horses are doing is a message. Not just a coincidence, but that their behavior has a direct or symbolic meaning for the client.

This time, the message was clear:

It is safe to be vulnerable with others.
We trust you.
It is time to wholly trust yourself, in the same way.

The horses want you to know that until you trust yourself, success will always be just out of reach.

It’s time to heal whatever is standing between you and trust.
Trusting yourself, trusting others, trusting the universe.

The horses are standing (or lying!) willing, ready to assist!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Top 10 Reasons It Kicks Ass to Have Your Horses in the BackYard.

On the eve of Thanksgiving, I turn my heart toward all that I am thankful for. Of course, the very first thing I live in gratitude for is residing on this gorgeous ranch with my amazing herd of healing horses!

To honor the depth of my thankfulness for this experience that I’ve waited my entire lifetime to enjoy, I’ve written down a few of the more compelling reasons I love living with my horses.

May they help bring appreciation into your own heart as well!

My Top 10 List of Reasons It Kicks Ass to Have Your Horses in the BackYard.

Number 10- Pony cuddle time, three times a day!! Hugs and kisses all the way around.

Number 9- When cramped for time, I can be on and off a horse in under 20 minutes.

Number 8- Star gazing with the herd, on silent nights.

Number 7- I can feed the horses in my pajamas! Thank goodness the neighbors are a few acres away.

Number 6- When the Farrier is an hour late, it’s not too awfully inconvenient.

Number 5- At my leisure, I can ride 3 horses a day- one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one in the evening.

Number 4- In the middle of a nasty snow storm, I don’t have to sit at home worrying if my horse is shivering, OR risk driving to the barn on slippery, snowy rollercoaster roads- I just stroll out the door.

Number 3- Anyone who’s ever boarded a horse, say it triumphantly with me now: I can feed as much hay as I want, as often as I want!!!! Shhh, don’t tell Greg, the Hay Police, that I said that!

Number 2- When the vet orders something to be soaked and wrapped 3x a day- there is a chance in hell that I may actually be able to do it!

And Number 1- My all time favorite: Bareback moonlight pony rides!

I wish you a very grateful Thanksgiving filled with appreciation for all that is well in your world and all of the gifts that are on their way into your life as we speak!

Readers: What is YOUR favorite thing about having horses in the backyard?! Please share!

Monday, November 23, 2009

What is Your Horse Thinking???

Lately I’ve been noticing that when I take one of the horses out to the arena to ride, the remaining 3 spend a great deal of time watching us from the paddock. It always surprises me a little, quite frankly.

I can’t help but wonder what they are thinking??!!!

After some consideration, I’ve narrowed it down to the following:

1) Good God, I’m glad that’s not me!
2) When is it gonna be my turn??!!!
3) Hmmm, let me assist and send Jenn some tips on how to ride that horse right!
4) Let’s help out that poor pony and give them some clues about what on earth Jenn is trying to communicate.
5) It’s so boring out here, at least there’s something to watch.
6) All of the above.
7) It depends on which horse you are talking about.

So, which one do you think it is?

Personally, I think it depends on which horse is watching.

If Charm is watching, I imagine her to be saying: “How could she have picked that horse instead of me! I’d better watch and make sure nothing untoward is going on!”

If Seren is watching, I imagine her to be thinking: “Oh thank god, I lucked out today. I get to sit here and be teacher for the little ones.”

If Little Man is watching, he seems to be saying, “ Oh please, I want to be next! Please, please!”

And if Frolic is watching, she seems to be soaking in the lessons, “Oh, so that’s what a round circle is! I’ll try that out next time.”

Readers: Please share- What would your horse be thinking???

Monday, November 16, 2009

Horse Wisdom 101: Being IS Doing

Recently one of my favorite animal communicators wrote about the healing that was taking place in her relationship with her horse, Ed.

Bridget Pilloud, of Pets are Talking, writes a kick-butt Reading of the Week blog post- and I devour it as soon as it comes out- so I think you'd enjoy it too.

This week, her horse Ed reminded Bridget of one of the founding tenants of Horse Wisdom: The Power of Being Instead of Doing.

Ed is a smarty pants and apparently a bit of a poet. He described it by saying:
"We're passing the peace."

How lovely is that!!??

Bridget is right, most horse owners want to DO something with their horse. They get satisfaction and feelings of accomplishment from DOING.

That's all well and good.
Horses like that too.

But they like it best when we balance it by spending good quality time BEING together.

Just hanging out, side by side, being quiet together. Maybe gentle brushing, light touching, but mostly just being together, with your mind quietly present- not doing the usual mental gymnastics.

You can even try just BEING atop your horse- maybe bareback while they munch on hay or grass. I've got one horse who appreciates this style of togetherness.

Another animal communicator friend of mine,
Kali Crosby, tells me that horses love this quiet, 1 on 1 time together because they love to talk to us. Think your horse isn't talking? You probably just aren't listening quietly enough.

If you get your mind still, breathe deeply, and just listen for what wants to pop into your mind, you'll likely get an idea of what your horse is talking to you about.

It's the perfect time to connect Who We Really Are with Who They Really Are. And to let the love flow.

Horse are masters at Being. They don't often worry about DOING- they go with the flow- in the moment- where love resides most powerfully.

Personally, for awhile now, I've let the balance slide over to more BEING than DOING with my horses. And though I miss the action, what I've found is that the beauty of connection, companionship, and communication that comes from just being together, far outweighs the glory of accomplishing by DOING.

The best part? Once you are deeply connected by BEING together, the DOING happens much more easily and effortlessly as a harmonious team.

Readers: Head out to the barn today and try just Passing the Peace with your horse- and let me know what you feel!

Read about it in Bridget and Ed's words here: Pets Are Talking Blog

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Little Man Finally Gets a Real Name!

Little Man had been here maybe 2 months and still he didn’t have a proper name. I feared that his nickname would forever be his calling card. This was especially troublesome since he’s on course to be our biggest horse. He should reach 17 hands- nowhere close to little!

Worse, I wondered if my previously high-functioning naming ability had left me high and dry. What else could I conclude after a series of less than innovative names like Squeaker, Big Kitty Kitty, and Little P?

But I needn’t have worried. Because his perfect name was just waiting for me to discover it.

Late one night, right before bed, I picked up a book I had previously read (and marked all up). Looking for some general inspirational guidance for my life, I employed a handy technique I have been using for awhile after learning it can be a more concrete way to access your intuition.

Holding the book’s covers between my hands, I asked, “If there is anything that would be helpful for me to know right now, please show me…” Then I flipped through the pages, allowed the book to open to a random page and started reading.

This time, within the first paragraph an unusual name was circled: Jaren. By the time I read the following sentence explaining it’s meaning I actually had tears in my eyes and I really didn’t know why.

I let it settle in that Jaren is the Hebrew word for “outpouring of joy.” And I immediately had a knowing that it’s the perfect name for Little Man.

Then I was startled into the present moment by noticing that I had previously circled the name over a year ago, for no good reason that I can remember. I chuckled at the serendipity of it all.

Yet, on a logical level, I still couldn't decide if it’s the totally perfect name for him. Heck, when pronounced the way it looks, it’s awfully similar to Seren, what we call my mare Serendipity. Yet, it does conform to my tradition of naming my horses after something that’s full of happiness.

So, I played with it for a few days. I started pronouncing it with a sort of French twist on the J, and a Spanish twist with a rolling of the R- more like Ja’ rrrren. Now, that I was more excited about. It’s fun to say. And it reminds me of a sexy Frenchman, which definitely fits a part of Little Man’s vibe. Except, I have no talent for rolling R’s and have to ask my husband to pronounce it the way I intend it to sound!

So I took it out to Little Man. I figure it’s supposed to be his name so he should get final approval. Over a bucket of hay, I asked him what he thinks of Jaren, letting him know that we’ll still use his nicknames that include words we know he likes such as Manly Man, and Handsome Man. With all of the munching going on, I didn’t feel like I could hear his answer.

I made a note to ask him soon during some quiet 1 on 1 time.

I never did get a chance to ask again- because about a week later Little Man found a way to let me know.

It happened after 3 days away from the ponies for an intense emotional workshop. The first day back, I took some time to connect with each of the horses, starting with Little Man.

He seemed eager to share something with me, but I couldn’t tell exactly what. He was pushing me around a bit with his head and neck. After a minute, I guessed he was trying to position me in front of his chest, with easy access to his heart charka. So I stood there and placed my hand on his chest. I got quiet and took a deep breathe and a lovely feeling of joy suddenly welled up into my heart, and came out as a few tears. I smiled and thanked Little Man for sending me such love. I thought he was just trying to reconnect with me after my absence.

So what I heard next surprised me. “Well, that’s my new name isn’t it?!” I giggled as I recognized that indeed, yes! Jaren meant an outpouring of joy. And here he was, sharing his outpouring of joy as a way to confirm acceptance of his new name.

How very clever indeed! And totally joyful and loving. The perfect name for a horse with a heart of pure gold. Thank you Universe for dropping it right into my lap! Literally.

Readers: How did your favorite pet get his/her name? How did the inspiration strike you? Please share.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Who is Your Healing Angel?

Last weekend was September 12- International Angel Day. It was also my 36th Birthday.

As I paused to reflect on that serendipitous occurance, it allowed me to honor all of the earth angels at the ranch.

If you didn't get a chance to pause last week to thank all of the angels in your life, here's my invitation to you to send that appreciation out now. When we fill the world with loving, grateful thankfulness, we really are ALL angels, uplifting the planet.

I'll go first!

My deepest, heart-felt Thank You goes out to:

Angel Greg: My super loving husband, who by ever adoring me constantly fills me with Light and Love, allowing me to share that Light with the world. Without you, I couldn't be serving my mission with such passion.

Angel Serendipity: As my first horse and leader of the Healing Herd, simply having you in my life after all of these years is enough to fill me with wonder and fuzzy warm tears every time I look at you. Thank you for offering your healing service first to me, then to the rest of the world. And, you are a remarkable teacher to us, as well as the rest of the healing herd!

Angel Frolic: From the moment you arrived into our lives, as Serendipity's baby, we knew you would be special. But there is hardly enough thanks for the amount of grounded, warm, laughter-filled wisdom you offer to us daily with your ever-increasing and freely given Love.

Angel Charm: Your utter gorgeousness and the way you fully inhabit your charm, grace, and power, but still with an open heart- is a constant encouragement for us to embody our Highest Selves and to use them flamboyantly, exuberantly to play. Thank you for blessing us with the Warrior Goddess energy every day!

Angel Beau: As the ever-friendly protector of the ranch, your steady, wise loyalty and big, deep brown eyes are enough to sustain me when Angel Greg can't be around. Thank you for standing by my side in Love.

Angel Big Kitty (Noel): From the moment you arrived on our porch starving and shivering, I knew you came for a reason. By standing so solidly in your Queenly-ness, you remind us all that we deserve to demand the love we deserve. Thank you for chosing us to share your lesson with, My Royal Highness!

Angel Squeaker: If it weren't for you breaking Greg's heart and mind open to the Awe that is Feline- he would never have known the love and splendor of Cats! Thank you for snoodle-ing with him daily- because his heart can't resist love given freely- even if it does come from a cat. And for this gift, I forgive your total lack of love for me!

Angel Little P(anther): Thank you for arriving at just the right moment to offer your tremendous gift of a furry ball of Purr-fectness. The joyful way you claim the world as your playground and use it to explore your power, athelticism, & enjoyment with abandon is a huge role model for us all. As another carrier of the Warrior Goddess energy, you challenge us to step right into our power, with no apologies. Everyone needs to know that they can still be adorable standing in your glory!

Angel Little Man: As the newest member of the Healing Herd who arrived completely by SynchroDestiny, and the only male in the Herd- we are delighted to discover that you are carrying the energy of the New Masculinity- by standing grounded in your power, relaxed and at ease, with a huge, willing, and open heart you will bring healing to the Wounded Man inside of us all. What an adventure that will be!

And to our recently departed Earth Angels, who can now
continue their supportive angel ways from the Other Side....

Angel Ice Man: Clearly there is not enough gratitude to send to you for your role as Spirit Guide in my daily life- inspiring, teaching, and prodding me into my Greatness and supporting my role as Spreader of Love into the World. Thank you for everything.

Angel J'oui: For sparking in me a depth of unconditional love that I didn't realize was possible, and for teaching me that it is time to create that love on my own and share it with the world, there are no words of thanks, just an undying connection of love that will unite us for eternity. I hold you close in deepest gratitude.

Dearest Readers, now it is your turn! Won't you please share your gratitude here for some of your sweetest Earth Angels- the people and pets in your life who offer you the healing, support, and love that allow you to become all who you are meant to be!

Please share!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A Final Good Bye to J'oui, My Kitty Soulmate

About a month ago, I wrote about how the kitty love of my life, J'oui, was unexpectedly dying. My deeply felt tribute to him and his legacy was in that blog post: Finding the Sweet Spot of Love in Death.

Now, an update. We had to put J'oui to sleep the other week, seeing in his eyes that the pain was no longer worth baring.

A very strange and difficult thing, to know you have 6 hours, 4 hours, 2 hours, then 20 minutes left to spend with your loved one. I eeked out all the love I could from those final hours- as he let me hold him close- yet it never feels like enough.

I still miss him horribly at times.

But I want to thank him from the bottom of my soul for filling my human heart with more love than I ever imagined possible.

Until we meet again my little, gorgeous friend, may you fill many other lives with love and may I learn your lesson of spreading unconditional love far and wide, with a smile in your heart, a sparkle in your eye, and a gentle touch of the hand.

And may I grow in my understanding that though we are no longer together in the physical realm, we are never really far apart.

God speed little one, as you are on to other adventures!

I'll always hold you close. Thank you for being you- the glorious, beautiful, lovable you. You are a gem of a lifetime.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Is SynchroDestiny Working It's Magic In Your Life?

How the Bread Crumbs of "Coincidence" Brought in the Newest Member of the Healing Horse Herd

Do you recognize serendipity at work in your life? What some call “coincidence” others call SynchroDestiny.

To me that means that when you have set a clear intention, and are open to receiving, the universe arranges just the right thing at just the right time to support you on your path.

The keys to allowing SynchroDestiny to blossom in your life are to:

1. Recognize when it happens,
2. Not dismiss it as coincidence,
3. And be willing to act on it.

I call it being willing to Follow the Breadcrumbs…the little clues along the way that bring you right to destiny’s door. Then all you have to do is knock!

Trouble is, what shows up may not always be what you were expecting, or perhaps, you weren’t prepared to act because you weren’t expecting anything at all.

In these moments, we can be paralyzed by doubt, by fear- what if we are wrong and it really is just coincidence??? What if I am not meant to act???

SynchroDestiny asks for your faith, for you to take the leap into the unknown, trusting that everything is unfolding as it should.

And for your faith, you are rewarded with brilliance, with miracles, with magic. And they can happen every day once you are In the Flow with the Universe.

I feel compelled to write about SynchroDestiny today because lately, it seems to be working it’s magic all around me.

Recall the 2 most recent blog posts about how a new black kitty who touches my heart arrives at just the same time that my favorite soulmate kitty is dying. THAT is SynchroDestiny working it’s magic. I wasn’t sure about getting her, I was afraid. Yet I acted and have been rewarded with a tremendous new love in my life.

Now, the pending arrival of the latest member of the Healing Horse Herd has SynchroDestiny’s stamp all over it.

Let me share with you the story so you can get a sense of how Following the Breadcrumbs helps you allow the Universe to assist you towards your dreams, with SynchroDestiny.

So you can more clearly see the process of SynchroDestiny unfold, I'll use Italics to denote the breadcrumbs. And the Inspired Action, that was necessary to allow Synchrodestiny to unfold, will be in Bold.

It started in June with setting the clear intention that we will attract all of the perfect healing animals that will be working with us at the Healing Horse Ranch. You set it and forget it. We had almost forgotten our request!

The summer rolls along and it’s August. I’ve got 2 saddles for sale and neither one of them is budging. I’m getting frustrated that we can’t seem to sell anything!

Then one night I am on the Internet and I run across a brand new horse show event. I’m curious because it’s unusual: an Event for Gaited Horses. Gaited horses don’t usually do dressage, cross country jumping, and stadium jumping.

So I look it up and discover that all horses are welcome and it’s late enough in the year that I can get my mare, who’s been off for the season due to injury, to a show finally. I’m excited about that.

But I have a commitment that weekend that I would need to move to attend the show, so I shoot off an email to the organizer of the event, Lisa, to see if she’s sure they will hold the event. Her friendly reply assures me that yes, the event is solid.

Great, I think. So I moved my commitment, thinking that was that. A few days later, I get the intuition that I should write to her and see if she knows anyone interested in the saddles. But this time, I don’t do anything…I mean to, but I don’t act on it right away.

Several days after that, I get an email that Lisa has sent out to her contacts that informs us that we can advertise horses and tack for sale on her event website for $5 each. This I noticed because it was an unusual coincidence- I was just thinking of emailing her about the saddles and instead I get an offer from her to advertise them. Interesting, this prodding from the Universe. Sometimes when you don’t act, you get a little prod. Strangely, I still don’t do anything!!!

A few days pass, I’m trying to decide if I want to spend the $10 to put both saddles on her website. When I finally get ready to email her, I notice that I had missed an email from her about a week earlier because it was in my spam folder.

I open it and she’s asking me if I know anyone who wants a yearling a colt who would make a great future eventer. No, I’m thinking, I don’t know anyone. But strangely, I ask her to tell me about him anyway. Why- I have no idea! AND, I also ask her if she knows anyone interested in my two saddles.

We exchange a couple of emails with the details of each offering. When all of a sudden I get an email from her that says that one of my saddles is her dream dressage saddle, would I be interested in trading the saddles for the horse?

Well, heck I never even considered that! We don’t need a 4th horse. And if we did take one on, we’d want it to be a horse my husband could ride right now and/or a steady horse any of our clients could sit on. A yearling, even if he had the right temperament would still be 3 YEARS away from being the right horse!

Nevertheless, I tell her that if she would consider trading just the dressage saddle (worth only $700) for the horse, we’d be interested in meeting him. Why did I say that?- again I’m not sure…but by now I am getting the feeling that SynchroDestiny may be at work. So I am definitely at full attention.

She writes back that yes- that would work for her.

So, I call my husband, almost afraid to tell him what’s going on because it’s slightly absurd- what would we do with a horse we’d need to feed for 2 years before we could even start to ride him!?

Unexpectedly, he says, “Well, it sounds like a no brainer. The horse is worth more than the saddle.” This from a man who has been really worried about tight finances and been very clear about NOT wanting any more animals right now. His openness to this crazy situation is another breadcrumb.

So, within the week, we go to meet this little fella. We discover that he seems to have just the personality that we look for in a horse, peaceful and super friendly. And he’s going to be very tall- at least 17 hands- which will make him a great future mount for my husband. And Lisa thinks the saddle is perfect.

So, now we need to decide:
Is this just a crazy coincidence that will make our lives more difficult, or is this divinely-inspired SynchroDestiny at work, bringing us what will turn out to be the perfect horse at the perfect time- even though we weren’t looking for a horse and we really weren’t too keen on a horse we wouldn’t be able to ride for years!!!

That’s where faith comes in. So, as I’m driving down the road, I ask for a sign:
Is it in the highest good for all concerned for this little guy to join our herd? If yes, please send me a very clear sign!!!!

The intuitive response I get is immediate and funny: “What more of a sign do you want!? We’ve dropped him into your lap!” And this recognition came with one of my signs of Truth- tears. Indeed for almost a year now I’ve been asking for the perfect horse for Greg to drop from the sky and land in our laps, for free.

And here he is, not exactly free, but requiring no exchange of money. He just didn’t come in the package we expected.

So, we’re being asked to trust that this will indeed turn out to be the Perfect Horse at the Perfect Time. That he will be carrying gifts we are meant to receive right now, and that we will offer him equal in return.

We’re being asked to act on the mere belief that there is a very good reason that this particular horse has been dropped in our laps at this particular time- even if we don’t know exactly what that reason is.

SynchroDestiny asks one last time, “Are you willing to make this leap?”

Throwing caution, doubts, and fears to the wind, Greg and I answer, “Hell, yes, why not?- let’s go for it!”

He is arriving and I can’t wait to watch the magic continue to unfold!

You can learn more about SynchroDestiny, a concept put forth in a book by the same name written by Deepak Chopra here: SynchroDestiny

Can you share a time when SynchroDestiny worked it's unexpected magic in your life???

Little P's Epilogue: Finding the Sweet Spot of Love in Death

The Gain of One Kitty Heralds the Loss of Another

Fascinatingly, within a week of Little P's arrival, another reason for her serendipitous joining of our family became apparent.

The day after Little P arrived, my soulmate kitty, J'oui, became ill. I didn't take him to the vet right away as he often gets a little under the weather only to bounce back after a few days.

Little did I know, he was dying right in front of me and I was missing the signs. Sure, I knew something was off, I just hoped it would clear itself. I didn't know how sick he was.

By the time I got him to the vet, they didn't think he would last the night. Devastated can't come close to describing the feelings of loss and grief I experienced.

Unable to sleep that night, I stood out with the horses under a meteor shower and cried. I cried so hard that eventually all I could do was lie down at Seren’s feet in the field, totally exhausted. She stood over me, like a silent sentinel, holding space for me. Frolic and Charm also laid down to rest. I felt one with the herd. And when I opened my eyes again, the sky was brightening with the sunrise.

It didn’t change the fact that I was afraid of losing J’oui.

J'oui was the one who had introduced to me the feeling of overwhelming unconditional love. Lying in my arms, his little arms touching my face, staring into me with his huge blue eyes, I knew a kind of pure love that I had rarely been in touch with in my life.

- All I had to do was look at him peacefully sleeping and love would well up in me.
- Watching him slink across the floor would make me smile.
- Noticing him clumsily almost fall off a banister would make me giggle.
- Hearing his outrageously loud purr would make me beam.
- And simply shouting his name with glee brought me more pleasure than it ever rightly should!

J’OUI!!!!! (pronounced J-weeeeeee)

Short for Joie de vie which is French for Joy of Life- THAT was exactly what this kitty inspired in me with his very presence- day after day.

I took more pictures of that cat than anything else, except for maybe sunsets. Greg joked that we would publish pictures books with names like J'oui and Me, The Tao of J'oui, and Oooo, La La, J'oui J'oui!

Greg would watch me oozing with pure bliss and ask me incredulously, “Is there ANYTHING that cat does that doesn’t make you happy????”

Um, no.

Sorry. I know you wish you were that cute. And you are, almost.

But my love for J’oui was otherworldly. Heck, I didn’t really understand it either. I just knew I planned on enjoying it for the rest of our lives.

I was often struck with deep gratitude for our relationship, knowing that it was such a tremendous gift- this ability to inspire such love and share it freely. I felt blessed to have that opportunity every single day and I realized how special it was.

I guess I thought acknowledging such gratefulness for it, would ensure it lasted forever.

So, the thought of having that love ripped from me unexpectedly. Well, it was more than I could handle.

I hadn’t been given a chance to adapt to the thought of life without him. To say my goodbyes. So I prayed that he would last the night and I could at least take him home to hold him one more day.

Thankfully, he did make it through the night, and strangely, against all odds, he’s holding on. He seems to be better. But I'm not convinced that it’s not his time. And I’ve given him permission to go on now.

But what I am convinced of is that the Universe arranged to deposit one gloriously loveable black kitty into my arms at just the time when I was about to lose the kitty love of my life.

And miraculously, that new kitty is able to inspire in me the very same glowing, unconditional love that J’oui can.

You know, not every cat has that effect on me. So the very fact that this new kitty can is not lost on me. It’s the miracle, the serendipity of the Universe working it’s magic.

And as I enjoy every moment I have left with J’oui, I am sure to thank him for sending in his replacement. Because I know, in my heart, J’oui has my back. And when I look into his eyes now, I can see that he’s got me covered.

I know there are more lessons to be learned here. But one of them is that the pure joy of unconditional love is always available to me, whether it’s in the form of a new kitty, or in the form of our timeless connection that will last even when J’oui leaves this earth.

Greater than that, though, is the challenge that J’oui is offering up- possibly it’s even his parting gift to me: A reminder not to look outside of myself for a source that will create that love in me, but to re-discover that place within me that can create the love all by itself.

Perhaps it’s a bit like a final exam, given from J’oui, the teacher, to me, the student.

It goes like this: "Now that I have reminded you what this great love feels like, can you go forth and share it freely from your own heart? Offering it far and wide to everyone and everything?

"And when you can sustain this kind of loving offering, you will have succeeded in the most important lesson of all, really the only lesson: Love."

I can almost hear him say, “Remember, Love is All That Is- now go forth and spread it. And as you do, you will always be close to me.”

And suddenly, just like that, J'oui's passing becomes the greatest gift one being can offer another: The chance to know yourself as Love.

Thank you J'oui from the bottom of my heart for all of the love that we share. And for this final, most monumental of gifts.

I know I'm not quite ready to pass this exam with flying colors, but I'll do my best to practice this lesson you so lovingly offered, until Living In Love comes as naturally and effortlessly as the love I felt with you.

Readers: Has something important come into your life at the time of a big loss? Please share.

Following the Bread Crumbs to One Gorgeous Black Kitty

The Story of the Latest Addition to the Healing Horse Ranch Family

“We need another cat like we need a hole in the head,“ Greg plainly states, as we’re sitting in a PetSmart Adoption Play Booth, trying to cuddle with a wriggly, still people-shy, yet totally adorable long-haired black kitten.

“I know, I KNOW, but still…..,” I reply, knowing that Greg is, of course totally right.

He’s the logical one. The rational one. The one that keeps me grounded- and from being a crazy cat lady with 26 cats.

And logic says that we have 3 cats already. That one doesn’t get along with the others so we have to keep them, sometimes awkwardly, segregated, otherwise bruises and black eyes develop.

So why on earth would I need a 4th cat? And what if she doesn’t get along with the others? And who will pay all of the bills, anyway????

That’s the logic. But I’ve never been ruled by logic. I go with the heart. The gut. What my intuition tells me.

And my intuition tells me that maybe, just maybe, I’m supposed to take home this little bundle of fluff.

WHY???, I wonder to myself…

It seems to go back a couple of years to when I went to a hypnotherapist and underwent my very first Hypnotic Regression. And on the way back, way, way back to another time and place, we made a pit stop to see if I had a guide who wanted to make itself known.

I arrived in my mind in a circle of grass, carved round by a forest of trees surrounding it. And I saw eyes, glowing eyes, yellow, perhaps green, staring at me from the wood. Ominous? Maybe, I couldn’t tell. Then a great big Panther strode out from behind the cover of darkness. Now, I was a bit nervous- big cats bite, hard- don’t they?

Just as soon as I began wondering if I was safe, the big cat morphed into a little black kitty, rubbing my lower legs in a figure eight pattern. I was safe. This animal was here as a protector, teacher, guide.

When I got home and did an internet search, I discovered that the Black Panther, as power animal or animal totem, was all about facing your fears, reclaiming lost power, embodying your sensuous grace, and playing with the moonlit, magical darkness. “Ha!,” I thought, “Perfect! Those are all of my current struggles- Panther is the ideal companion for me!.”

So, right then, I knew my future held a black kitty. Yet, now we had three cats- none of whom were even close to black.

Nevertheless, the seed had been planted. And it was watered the previous week when my blacksmith told me a tearful tale of how one of their 3 new black kittens had met a tragic, unexpected end. The whole time he told the story, not knowing where it was going, part of me wondered if he would be asking if I knew someone to take one of these kitties. But, that wasn’t where his story went, I had to admit, a little disappointedly. Yet- now the seed was sprouting.

And so it was the following week, in a new PetSmart, that I ran unexpectedly into the cat Adoption Center. I was just toodling around trying to find what I needed when, wham, my head flew up and there I was. “Crap!,” I thought, as I KNOW I’m not supposed to EVER go by the cats in their glass enclosures, as every time I do, they all call out to my heart and my will becomes not my own.

But there I was standing in front of one of the enclosures, housing three, 4-month old kittens. I gazed at them and a black and white tuxedo marked one stood up from the soft pile of kitty bodies, and strode over to me- rubbing against the glass. “Hell- now I have to play with them,” but just a minute I promised myself.

Once seated in the Kitty Play Booth, surrounded by the 3 kitties, it soon became clear that the one who originally caught my fancy, the Tux, would never be a good fit in our house- she was all Goddess- brave, strong, adventuresome. No, our cat Squeaker would never stand for that- he required submission.

But the more gentle, shy, fluffy Black one, now she seemed to fit the bill. More outgoing then the 3rd sister, and “Oh-My-God-Soft,” she intrigued me. Ever since my childhood cat Fluffy died back when I was maybe 10 years old, I’ve always wanted another longer haired cat.

I reluctantly gave them all back to the employee and headed on home, now wondering, am I supposed to take home that cat?

Since our beloved greyhound died a few months ago, Greg has been adamant that he did not want any more pets. Not now. And he’s never been a fan of cats anyway.

When I sort of tested the waters later that day by telling Greg that I had played with the kitties and the black one interested me, he replied, “I’m surprised you didn’t come home with him.” His resolved sounded a little softer than before.

But I try, I swear I try to uphold his wishes-so really I was only toying with the idea of getting that cat. But then something took hold.

I decided to sit with it. They are kittens, usually kittens gets adopted fast. Maybe if she is there the next time I go in, that will be a sign.

For the next few days, my soulmate cat, J’oui, was especially loving, alternating between curled up and being laid flat out in my lap. My heart purr’ed with pure pleasure in these moments and I radiated such happiness, that even Greg couldn’t be immune.

Greg would sit next to me, and I could feel how my unadulterated happiness became his happiness- since all he ever wants is for me to be happy. And clearly, the right cat brings me an ecstasy that he really can’t fathom, not being a cat person.
But he had to admit it, it was so very clear: Cats equal joy to Jenn.

And so, I could feel his “No More Pets” resolve soften further. By the weekend, I said, maybe we could just go see her again, you can meet her, and we can decide. He said ok, no doubt knowing that once my heart is set on something, there is little he can do to deter me. And yet- trying to respect his boundaries- I really wasn’t certain we needed to have this cat, right now.

Even sitting in the play booth- all three kitties and us, I still wasn’t sure. I was afraid to be sure, really. What if she wasn’t The One? Yet- she was so cute!!!

And so he acquiesced to filling out an application. And I figured it would be a day or so before we heard and we could always change our minds. As the staff member ran to get the forms, my favorite song came on, It’s Friday, I’m in Love by the Cure. As I swirled Greg around the floor, I wondered if this was a sign. This song makes me deliriously happy, it’s jaunty little tune always making me move. Surely, the timing was a sign? I’ve never heard that song in public, ever! Greg, not believing in signs, shrugged.

Surely the second sign was the fact that another employee strode over to us not minutes later and said, “She’s yours- you can pick her up tomorrow.” This, even though they were closing that very minute and typically they have to fax the application to the Pet Rescue and wait a day for an answer. “Hmmm, well I guess she’s ours,” I thought. I hoped I had made the right decision.

Even the next day, driving home with the new kitty crying pitiful mew’s from the cat carrier- I still wasn’t sure. “What if this is a mistake?,” I thought, as a hawk took flight off a fence by the road right in front of my truck. Nearly hitting him, I wondered if it was a sign. Hawk is another one of my power animals, and usually a good sign for me.

With a mix of trepidation, curiosity, and hope, I pulled onto our street, and immediately I saw the familiar rainbow by the side of our home. Always arriving as a sign that “All is Well,” the sight of “my” rainbow was the second welcoming sign and I burst into tears of gratitude, knowing I had correctly followed my intuition.

This black kitty was here for a reason.

It was only two days later that I discovered why.

As I sat at my computer, the new kitty, whom we were calling Little P, short for Little Panther- clawed her way up my chair and into my lap. She snuggled all over me, reaching her little arms up to my face, playing in my hair, rubbing nose to nose, staring into my eyes, purring. We had discovered that she was set on Perma-Purr, she is always purring- my absolute favorite sound! And her gentle, curious, connecting love just broke my heart absolutely wide open in joy. I reveled in the furry softness of her coat and the fuzzy, warm softness growing in my heart- it was such luxury.

I sat in that chair with tears in my eyes, overwhelmed with happiness, so grateful that I had followed my gut. And even more grateful to Greg, for seeing how much joy the cats give me, and allowing me to open our home to yet one more pet, who appears to be carrying the healing, universal message that All is Love.

Thank you Greg- you are my angel.
And thank you Little P for joining us. I love you already!

As I finish writing this, I feel compelled to go to the back porch and look out. There it is, another gorgeous rainbow shining end to end in the back yard. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

I’ve given up believing in coincidence, now I only believe in fairy tales.

Little P expresses her agreement as she crawls into my lap and begins kneading my heart chakra. Love, indeed. And tears of joy.

Curious what Greg had to say about getting Little P?
Read his version of the story over at our Soulmate Celebration Blog: I'm Married to Jenn the Creepy Cat Lady

Readers: When has following your gut lead you right to the perfect pet, even when you weren't really looking? Please share.