What It Takes to Heal: Willingess to Keep Peeling the Onion, No Matter What

The other night, I had a surprising spontaneous healing session with the ponies. It was nightfall, and they were finished eating. I was just giving them some love, when Seren let me know it was time for some healing “work.”

It’s one thing when I go out with an intention to work on something for myself, but it still surprises me when THEY decide it’s time.

Lately, I’ve been doing my best to listen to my intuition, both with the horses, and without. But sometimes I still argue.

So when I’m standing next to Seren and I get the sense I’m supposed to kneel down and put my forehead on the ground, I resist. It’s cold out, the ground isn’t exactly clean…there are a million reasons, but the prompting persists, so I acquiesce.

I’m hanging out with my forehead on the ground wondering what the heck this is about and Seren touches a spot on my back, and the tears start flowing.

Wow- sometimes that’s all it takes to access a hidden issue- a posture, a simple touch.

And then words start flowing with the tears, words I don’t have any meaningful reference for, at least in this lifetime.

Words like, “I couldn’t save them. I wanted to be there. I couldn’t get there. They wouldn’t let me. I should have been there.” Over and over again, with so much grief. I get the sense it must be a past life scene. It feels like maybe my family was killed when I was away.

And then the tears clear, there is a moment of rest, I’m sitting up and Seren is taking some energy off of my shoulders and the top of my head- she bites my hat, grabbing something that no longer is serving me.

Then a new prompting occurs- “Lie down on your back” this one says.

“Are you crazy? It’s freezing out here. What if the horses step on me? Can I be safe? I’m not doing that!”

But it continues. Ok, fine. I’ll do it. So I lie back on the frozen ground, with my head out of the paddock for a little more security. And I start crying again, and shivering, with my thighs shaking. I keep saying, “I’m so cold, I’m so cold.”

I really am cold, but it seems like that I HAVE to be physically cold because that’s part of this past life scene that is being cleared- a cold and lonely death sometime, some place.

The tears continue, until they stop, and there is some peace, before the next prompting.

“Continue lying there, but put your hands behind you back.” I’m thinking, that’s crazy- but heck, it’s not any crazier then what I’ve already done, so fine- here you go. Let’s get this over with because I want to go inside where it’s warm!”

And that posture sets off an entirely new healing scene, a clearing of a fiery death by persecution it seemed. That’s not the kind of death anyone deserves.

All the while, Seren is standing watch over me, keeping me safe, assisting with clearing the energy, guiding the process. And Charm is holding space as an assistant directly across the fence.

Apparently Frolic and Little Man aren’t invited to this party, because whenever they come close, they get run off. Even the dogs aren’t allowed close by. This must be serious healing time.

And Seren plays her role perfectly, majestically, lovingly as leader of the healing herd- always letting me know when the work is done.

When I finally rise from the ground, I give all of the ponies thanks and hugs for their beautiful, willing, life-affirming service and I hurry inside to get warm.

Arriving back in, a lot later than my husband was expecting me, I utter, “Darn I’m cold!”

“Good thing I have something for you”, he says, as he hands me a huge mug of homemade hot chocolate.

And I feel like the luckiest girl in the world- surrounded by such supportive healing angels- both inside and out!!

As my own healing journey continues deeper and deeper, I am discovering that true healing really only requires one thing:

That we show up and fully ALLOW whatever needs to take place, to unfold.

Today I learned about the added power of posture to trigger that which needs to be released.

And fostered a deeper understanding that past life traumas often get carried into this life in our bodies and need to be cleared and released. Especially traumatic past deaths.

That sometimes these will come up to be cleared just when you are ready to take an important step forward that those energies may be preventing. And so they come up to be released.

Healing is about your willingness to get still, to go within, and to allow whatever feelings & energies come up, to play out in their entirety- giving them whatever words, sounds, postures, or tears come naturally, until you reach the stillness again.

Knowing that one more layer of that which no longer serves you, is gone for good.

And we need to keep showing up, peeling the layers away like an onion, until we reach the pure love that resides at the very center of us all.

And always, when you are ready, the horses stand prepared to assist us on this most amazing healing journey toward wholeness and love.

Finally Feeling Seen: An Appaloosa Gift

The last post took us on Alex’s healing adventure of going from feeling unseen to being filled with vibrant love.

While we’re on the topic of feeling unseen, I’d like to share my own unseen healing story.

Back before we were moved into the Happily Ever After Ranch, we boarded our horses. Two of our horses lived in a pasture with about 10 other horses.

One day, when I was carrying some sadness, but not really sure why, I decided to take the healing process out to the herd to see what could be done about it.

So, I stood at the top of the pasture hill, the horses off in the distance. I began the process of tuning into my body, seeing where this sadness lived, getting in touch with the sensations. The tears flowed steadily.

Honestly, I didn’t even know what they were about- but I know that for healing to take place, you don’t always have to understand what’s happening.

Thru my tears, I noticed a big Appaloosa gelding had caught sight of me and was making a beeline to my side.

I didn’t know him personally, but it was clear that he was the self-appointed healer for the day.

That’s what I love most about this work- the horses know and they willingly offer their healing service. They will send the horse who is best for the job at hand.

All I had to do was stand there, and the best possible help would come.

And so we did stand, me and this enormous gelding. In fact, he stood a bit oddly- with his head held high, right in front of my face. He kept it there, staring at me, for the longest time.

Ask any horseperson and they will tell you that it’s uncommon for a horse to stay in any particular position for very long, especially looking into your eyes! So, I knew he had a message, but I couldn’t figure out what it was!!

So, I allowed him to gaze right into me. And then his healing message came, “I SEE YOU.”

“Oh,” I thought with an Ah-Ha giggle, “That’s what he’s saying!”

And the tears flowed harder and faster, as I realized that was what this sadness was really about. As a child, often no one was around to see me, to be with me.

So I carried a deeply hidden sense of being invisible. A wounded inner child screaming, “Notice me! Pay attention to me!”

That day, simply standing with this big Appaloosa, he gave me what I most needed right then and what I had most needed since I was a kid: To be seen, without judgment, in all my weakness and strength.

Years of grief washed through me, as I took in his most healing gift. When there were no more tears left, I stood beside him, feeling light, free, happy and SEEN- by this stranger who was now a friend.

I let the peaceful contentment flow through me, taking some big deep breaths, relieved that the heavy weight had been lifted.

The Appaloosa, satisfied that his job was done, gave me a little nod with his huge head, and off he ambled back to his grazing friends.

If you had looked at the scene a moment later, you never would have known the momentous and genuine gift he had offered willingly, effortlessly, and with love.

It still amazes me that horses will leave food and friends to serve when their heart is being called to by another heart that needs healing. And the gifts that they bestow can melt lifetimes of hurt in minutes.

Thank you big Appaloosa friend, for coming to me in my time of need and giving me the biggest gift of all: Being Seen.

If you have access to horses, you can try this same technique that I call "Taking It to the Horses." Whenever your mood turns dark, go out to the horses, tune into your emotions, and allow what wants to unfold. Be ready for miracles to happen!

Readers: What healing message has a horse offered to you?