What It Takes to Heal: Willingess to Keep Peeling the Onion, No Matter What

The other night, I had a surprising spontaneous healing session with the ponies. It was nightfall, and they were finished eating. I was just giving them some love, when Seren let me know it was time for some healing “work.”

It’s one thing when I go out with an intention to work on something for myself, but it still surprises me when THEY decide it’s time.

Lately, I’ve been doing my best to listen to my intuition, both with the horses, and without. But sometimes I still argue.

So when I’m standing next to Seren and I get the sense I’m supposed to kneel down and put my forehead on the ground, I resist. It’s cold out, the ground isn’t exactly clean…there are a million reasons, but the prompting persists, so I acquiesce.

I’m hanging out with my forehead on the ground wondering what the heck this is about and Seren touches a spot on my back, and the tears start flowing.

Wow- sometimes that’s all it takes to access a hidden issue- a posture, a simple touch.

And then words start flowing with the tears, words I don’t have any meaningful reference for, at least in this lifetime.

Words like, “I couldn’t save them. I wanted to be there. I couldn’t get there. They wouldn’t let me. I should have been there.” Over and over again, with so much grief. I get the sense it must be a past life scene. It feels like maybe my family was killed when I was away.

And then the tears clear, there is a moment of rest, I’m sitting up and Seren is taking some energy off of my shoulders and the top of my head- she bites my hat, grabbing something that no longer is serving me.

Then a new prompting occurs- “Lie down on your back” this one says.

“Are you crazy? It’s freezing out here. What if the horses step on me? Can I be safe? I’m not doing that!”

But it continues. Ok, fine. I’ll do it. So I lie back on the frozen ground, with my head out of the paddock for a little more security. And I start crying again, and shivering, with my thighs shaking. I keep saying, “I’m so cold, I’m so cold.”

I really am cold, but it seems like that I HAVE to be physically cold because that’s part of this past life scene that is being cleared- a cold and lonely death sometime, some place.

The tears continue, until they stop, and there is some peace, before the next prompting.

“Continue lying there, but put your hands behind you back.” I’m thinking, that’s crazy- but heck, it’s not any crazier then what I’ve already done, so fine- here you go. Let’s get this over with because I want to go inside where it’s warm!”

And that posture sets off an entirely new healing scene, a clearing of a fiery death by persecution it seemed. That’s not the kind of death anyone deserves.

All the while, Seren is standing watch over me, keeping me safe, assisting with clearing the energy, guiding the process. And Charm is holding space as an assistant directly across the fence.

Apparently Frolic and Little Man aren’t invited to this party, because whenever they come close, they get run off. Even the dogs aren’t allowed close by. This must be serious healing time.

And Seren plays her role perfectly, majestically, lovingly as leader of the healing herd- always letting me know when the work is done.

When I finally rise from the ground, I give all of the ponies thanks and hugs for their beautiful, willing, life-affirming service and I hurry inside to get warm.

Arriving back in, a lot later than my husband was expecting me, I utter, “Darn I’m cold!”

“Good thing I have something for you”, he says, as he hands me a huge mug of homemade hot chocolate.

And I feel like the luckiest girl in the world- surrounded by such supportive healing angels- both inside and out!!

As my own healing journey continues deeper and deeper, I am discovering that true healing really only requires one thing:

That we show up and fully ALLOW whatever needs to take place, to unfold.

Today I learned about the added power of posture to trigger that which needs to be released.

And fostered a deeper understanding that past life traumas often get carried into this life in our bodies and need to be cleared and released. Especially traumatic past deaths.

That sometimes these will come up to be cleared just when you are ready to take an important step forward that those energies may be preventing. And so they come up to be released.

Healing is about your willingness to get still, to go within, and to allow whatever feelings & energies come up, to play out in their entirety- giving them whatever words, sounds, postures, or tears come naturally, until you reach the stillness again.

Knowing that one more layer of that which no longer serves you, is gone for good.

And we need to keep showing up, peeling the layers away like an onion, until we reach the pure love that resides at the very center of us all.

And always, when you are ready, the horses stand prepared to assist us on this most amazing healing journey toward wholeness and love.

Horse Wisdom: Trust Thyself

During a recent client session, the healing herd did a really unusual thing.

They all laid down. Not just down. But all the way out on the ground- all four of them. At least one was snoring in fact.

“I didn’t know horses snore!,” my client remarked.

This was astonishing.

As creatures of prey, horses are constantly vigilant for predators.

So, almost always when it’s sleepy time, at least one of the herd remains standing, as sentinel, guarding the vulnerable, resting horses from danger.

And humans, especially strange, unfamiliar ones, like a new client, fit in the category of potential predator, until proven innocent.

So, horses will rarely lie down with people they don’t know well. Even when they know you well, some horses never will lie down with you close by. When they do- it’s a huge sign of trust.

So, here were 4 horses, all who not only were on the ground, but laid flat out- the most vulnerable position possible for a horse- with me and my client standing nearby.

One of the tenants of equine-assisted work is to always assume that what the horses are doing is a message. Not just a coincidence, but that their behavior has a direct or symbolic meaning for the client.

This time, the message was clear:

It is safe to be vulnerable with others.
We trust you.
It is time to wholly trust yourself, in the same way.

The horses want you to know that until you trust yourself, success will always be just out of reach.

It’s time to heal whatever is standing between you and trust.
Trusting yourself, trusting others, trusting the universe.

The horses are standing (or lying!) willing, ready to assist!

Calling Forth Your Goddess Self : A Mini-Playshop with Horses

You KNOW men are attracted to goddesses. Heck, all good things come to those who stand in their Goddess nature. So whatever happened to your Goddess Self!?

You are invited to join us for a half-day of mythic self-discovery and recovery as we bring forth a fuller, more vibrant version of your Goddess Self, with the aid of the Healing Horse Herd.

Next Date:
Sunday Oct 11

12-5

$35 includes lunch.

Outside Denver, CO

Play Shop Activities:

- We’ll start by exploring what being a Goddess means to you, as we wonder which parts of the Goddess Energy you may have left behind in your past- perhaps due to pain, loss, fear, or illness.

- Then we’ll invite the energy of a particular Goddess’s attributes to work with you, by selecting your personal card from the Goddess Deck.

- Ready to get in touch with your own missing piece of the Goddess, we’ll enjoy a group reflective round pen exercise with the horse, designed to help you discover and recover the part of the Goddess energy you’re most ready to reclaim to help you create success in your life right now.

- Then you’ll be given the opportunity to embody your newly reclaimed Goddess Self during a short individual active round pen session with the horses. By stepping into your new energy, you’ll be able to accomplish a task with the horse, as partner, opening the door to accomplishment in your real world- using the very same Goddess energy.

- Next, we’ll anchor our rediscovered Goddess vibe into our powerful subconscious mind by engaging in it’s primal, potent language of images and symbols, with the creative and playful Pony Painting Activity- where we actually create an image of your Goddess energy by painting on a horse! What fun!

- We’ll complete the circle of our mythic journey by pulling a card from the Horse Wisdom deck- discovering how to integrate ancient horse wisdom with our new Goddess energy in our current lives.

You’ll leave with an authentically inspired, practical plan to bring more of your True Goddess Self into all that you do- making you a powerful magnet for success worthy of a Goddess!

Give yourself the Gift of Embodying Your True Goddess Nature!

Email for more info or to register: drjenn@happilyeverafterranch.com

Or visit: www.happilyeverafterranch.com

Finally Feeling Seen: An Appaloosa Gift

The last post took us on Alex’s healing adventure of going from feeling unseen to being filled with vibrant love.

While we’re on the topic of feeling unseen, I’d like to share my own unseen healing story.

Back before we were moved into the Happily Ever After Ranch, we boarded our horses. Two of our horses lived in a pasture with about 10 other horses.

One day, when I was carrying some sadness, but not really sure why, I decided to take the healing process out to the herd to see what could be done about it.

So, I stood at the top of the pasture hill, the horses off in the distance. I began the process of tuning into my body, seeing where this sadness lived, getting in touch with the sensations. The tears flowed steadily.

Honestly, I didn’t even know what they were about- but I know that for healing to take place, you don’t always have to understand what’s happening.

Thru my tears, I noticed a big Appaloosa gelding had caught sight of me and was making a beeline to my side.

I didn’t know him personally, but it was clear that he was the self-appointed healer for the day.

That’s what I love most about this work- the horses know and they willingly offer their healing service. They will send the horse who is best for the job at hand.

All I had to do was stand there, and the best possible help would come.

And so we did stand, me and this enormous gelding. In fact, he stood a bit oddly- with his head held high, right in front of my face. He kept it there, staring at me, for the longest time.

Ask any horseperson and they will tell you that it’s uncommon for a horse to stay in any particular position for very long, especially looking into your eyes! So, I knew he had a message, but I couldn’t figure out what it was!!

So, I allowed him to gaze right into me. And then his healing message came, “I SEE YOU.”

“Oh,” I thought with an Ah-Ha giggle, “That’s what he’s saying!”

And the tears flowed harder and faster, as I realized that was what this sadness was really about. As a child, often no one was around to see me, to be with me.

So I carried a deeply hidden sense of being invisible. A wounded inner child screaming, “Notice me! Pay attention to me!”

That day, simply standing with this big Appaloosa, he gave me what I most needed right then and what I had most needed since I was a kid: To be seen, without judgment, in all my weakness and strength.

Years of grief washed through me, as I took in his most healing gift. When there were no more tears left, I stood beside him, feeling light, free, happy and SEEN- by this stranger who was now a friend.

I let the peaceful contentment flow through me, taking some big deep breaths, relieved that the heavy weight had been lifted.

The Appaloosa, satisfied that his job was done, gave me a little nod with his huge head, and off he ambled back to his grazing friends.

If you had looked at the scene a moment later, you never would have known the momentous and genuine gift he had offered willingly, effortlessly, and with love.

It still amazes me that horses will leave food and friends to serve when their heart is being called to by another heart that needs healing. And the gifts that they bestow can melt lifetimes of hurt in minutes.

Thank you big Appaloosa friend, for coming to me in my time of need and giving me the biggest gift of all: Being Seen.

If you have access to horses, you can try this same technique that I call "Taking It to the Horses." Whenever your mood turns dark, go out to the horses, tune into your emotions, and allow what wants to unfold. Be ready for miracles to happen!

Readers: What healing message has a horse offered to you?

Healing with the Herd: Attracting Your Soulmate

I bet you are wondering how on earth a horse could help you find love!

Let me share a healing adventure story from the ranch, so you too can apply what a recent visitor learned about attracting love.

If you’ve been attracting everything but the perfect partner, all it means is that something in your body, heart, and mind isn’t in perfect alignment with creating beautiful love.

You might know what that something is that is standing in the way, but many times, we do not, because it’s tucked away in our subconscious, long forgotten, but not gone.

For a recent visitor, whom I’ll call Alex, that something was a deep-seated feeling of being “unseen.”

Acquired during childhood, this map continued to play out in adulthood, helping her attract one romantic relationship after another where she got to star in the role of not being seen or appreciated for her full, beautiful self.

The horse she selected to work with, Serendipity, helped her bring that core issue to the surface by acting like yet another being that seemed to not see her, triggering in Alex that familiar feeling of wondering if she was liked at all.

The healing horses are brilliant like that! They sense in you exactly what needs to be addressed and act in ways that bring out the pattern or emotion. Once the issue is fully “up” for you and you are experiencing it, you have the opportunity to transform and release it. What a gift!

Then sitting on top of Serendipity, I led Alex through the heart-centered coaching process, where we looked more at where this issue of feeling “unseen” lived in her body. We discovered that it felt like a dark, heavy blob around the chest area. It held a disappointed and lonely feeling inside of it- yet the message her body wanted to share was that it could be a different way.

Was Alex ready to embrace a new way and let this part of her go?

Yes! So next Seren and I helped her dissolve this block and replace it with something that would serve her. Once you set a firm intention to leave behind a block, the horse’s massive energy field is able to help you neutralize stuck or negative energy.

What did Alex want to replace this feeling of being unseen with?

We allowed an image to come to Alex’s awareness, then elaborated on it:

It was an enormous pink, tingly, laughter-filled heart.

Both of us smiled as the image came to life, knowing it was perfect. And as Alex sat on Seren, we walked a circle to help embed this peaceful, loving image into her body.

We paused for a moment to reflect and ask Seren
how Alex could use this heart to further her healing. Alex suddenly got the image of a glorious sun shining forth it’s warmth.

At just that moment, the sun peeked out from behind the clouds, offering it’s warmth and Alex spread her arms high and wide to welcome in the healing heat.

Ah, of course! What a wonderful idea! That happy pink heart, now filled with warmth could be used as a soulmate magnet!

We walked another circle, sending that loving, happy vibration out into the Universe, with the intention of calling in The One. A gorgeous red-tailed hawk appeared overhead. Hawk is known as a Messenger so we imagined him taking this message of her readiness for real love out to the world.

Now, instead of sending out a vibration of being “unseen” which attracts more partners who won’t meet Alex’s needs, she’ll be sending out a different signal, to everyone she meets- that she’s happy, whole, and ready for a loving, sweet, and playful partner to join her.

As Alex gave Seren a thankful hug, I suggested that she use that image of her huge tingly happy pink heart every day.

For even a few minutes daily, she should send that feeling out to the Universe, expecting, knowing that her perfect partner will be on the way.

And it will be so!

It can’t be any other way, because she has shifted a fundamental vibration that was getting in the way of success.

By bringing that happy pink heart out of hiding, the coaching session helped Alex re-experience what it’s like to BE loved.

Remembering that wonderful feeling and anchoring it in her body- she now can call on that bodily sensation whenever she’s put in a situation that doesn’t feel good. Before when she might freeze up, now she can shine her warm heart forth, unfreeze herself and handle the situation with love.

What a beautiful, healing outcome! Every time, I feel honored to be part of this process of giving people back to themselves in all of their natural magnificence. Thank you Serendipity for offering the healing gift of love so that now Alex can be offering love to herself and all those around her, including her future soulmate!

Readers: What are you ready to let go of and what would you like to put in it's place? Please share!

Mystical Body Worker: The Horse

Have you met a horse that's a body worker yet?

I have, let me share my adventure with you.

From the time I arrived at the Buffalo Women Ranch, in SW Colorado, I was intrigued by one horse in particular. A big-boned black horse with a mysterious eye- she was the embodiment of Presence & Power.

I knew we were supposed to do some work together, because where ever I went, I felt her stare follow me. And whenever I came close enough, she wanted to touch me.

When our round pen session came, I was expecting fireworks- perhaps emotional floodgates being opened to cleanse ancient wounds. I don't know.

Instead, I got a healing of a different sort.

Loose in the pen, Star came directly to me. And she began working me over. Mostly with her muzzle, she'd rub those huge, powerful lips all over my body. She started on my back, worked over my head, continued down the stomach, all the way to the feet.

It was a bit disconcerting, having to trust this large-mouthed new friend, as she worked tirelessly, for more than 45 minutes! But holding so much chronic pain in my body, I was willing to receive help however it came!

At the time, I didn't know WHAT on earth she was doing. But I knew it was important work, because she took it very seriously and never took a break- she was focused and on task the entire time!

Which, if you ask any horse person, is a highly unusual level of focus for a horse, especially given it's freedom!

When she was finally satisfied that her work was complete, she took her leave of me and stood over by the gate, signaling it was time for a snack.

Amazed and in awe at what just happened, I chatted with Robbie and Charlie, the lovely leaders of the ranch- who informed me that Star is their master body worker and energy healer. Though, even they had to confide that they had never seen her quite to intensely focused and for so long!

The effects weren't immediate and I went to bed wondering what on earth to expect from such horse service.

The next day, I drove the long 10 hour drive back to Denver, with a horse trailer in tow.

It was exhausting, but when I got out of the truck after our epic adventure- I was amazed to notice that I strode away standing taller and straighter than I had in years! And, standing like that took NO EFFORT at ALL.

Usually I'd have to man-handle my body into such a posture and the muscles would become so tired from their effort they'd completely refuse after a short time.

I smiled an enormous smile of gratitude, "Ah, sweet friend Star, this was the gift you bestowed upon me yesterday!"

No doubt, she also released emotional wounds that went along with those physical pains.

I found the change remarkable and my eyes were forever opened onto a new vista of how Horses are Natural Healers- here to help give us back to our selves- in full health, happiness, and vitality.

Thank you Star for opening my heart and mind and showing me one of the many ways horses have come to heal us!

Readers: Have you met a Body Worker masquerading as Horse? Share your experience!

Re-Mothered by a Black Horse: More Effective than Talk Therapy!

Let’s kick this blog off with some of my own healing adventures with horses!

In fact, let’s begin at my very first personal experience of equine-assisted coaching: It rocked my world.

Back when I was doing my post-doctoral fellowship in Rochester, NY, I went through a devastating breakup. The kind of persistent pain that caused me to seek out therapy to make sense of it all.

The therapist was brilliant in getting me to understand what the ferocity of this pain meant: It wasn’t about this boyfriend at all, it was really about my distant, childhood past.

I needed to really grieve not having my needs met as a child, she said.

Problem was, I didn’t have access to those memories OR the feelings- so I COULDN’T grieve.

I wanted to, but I my subconscious had neatly tucked away all of it to protect me. And try as I might, I didn’t seem to have a way to get in and make contact with the part of me that needed to heal.

So, therapy was a stalemate.

Sure, I walked away with greater insight into the situation, but insight is only the first part of healing. Insight alone doesn’t shift anything monumental.

Fast-forward several years to the first equine-facilitated learning workshop I attended.

I stood outside of a round pen, across from a jet black horse that I had selected to work with, because somehow, she felt “right” to me. And before I even stepped into the pen to begin my ‘session’- I was crying.

When I entered and stood next to this mare, I cried harder and harder. It went on forever and I didn’t even KNOW what the tears were about.

Then as I stood enveloped in her warmth, one word floated into my awareness: Nurture. In her own way, she was offering the mothering I had craved.

In a split second I realized that at last I had made contact with my wounded inner child, the child that had stubbornly remained hidden for 9 months of therapy years before. And now, a childhood of sadness was finally being grieved, finally being experienced.

But more than that, it was being released- from my body, my heart, and my mind.

After more than 30 minutes of full-on sobbing, the tears began to dry up. I stood next to this black mare, my arm over her whither. And as the sun came out from the clouds behind us, it illuminated a shadow before us: Of me and her, together.

Immediately I was struck with this idea:
I am never alone. Walking beside me is always the comforting force of Love. And together, we’ll make it through.

As that knowing flooded over me, a new wave of tears came down, this time refreshing my soul with comfort and relief.

In one instant, a new memory was installed in my body, heart, and mind: A memory that should have been part of my childhood, but was missing.

Now, I held it close to my heart and breathed in a new sense of wholeness. It was like a 100-pound weight was lifted, leaving me light and renewed.

What a beautiful healing gift this horse had given. Yet more was to come.

Later back at the hotel room, I laid down to rest. And I was startled to discover that something had changed in my body.

Suddenly for the first time, I was able to breathe all the way deep down into my stomach. Honestly, before that moment, I wasn’t even aware that I couldn’t do that! I didn’t know that I was holding a block there.

I was amazed to realize that a simple, yet profound 30-minute round pen session with a mysterious black horse was able to accomplish what 9 months of talk therapy could not!

A block that had probably been there since childhood had melted, leaving my body with a greater sense of wellness and energetic flow.

After this session, the trajectory of my life changed. I knew I was being called upon to combine my two life-long passions- love and horses- to help people experience this kind of awe-inspiring healing.

Thus began my own healing adventure with horses and a new passionate path opened before my eyes. A path I’d be honored to walk alongside of you at the Happily Ever After Holistic Healing Horse Ranch!