“We need another cat like we need a hole in the head,“ Greg plainly states, as we’re sitting in a PetSmart Adoption Play Booth, trying to cuddle with a wriggly, still people-shy, yet totally adorable long-haired black kitten.
“I know, I KNOW, but still…..,” I reply, knowing that Greg is, of course totally right.
He’s the logical one. The rational one. The one that keeps me grounded- and from being a crazy cat lady with 26 cats.
And logic says that we have 3 cats already. That one doesn’t get along with the others so we have to keep them, sometimes awkwardly, segregated, otherwise bruises and black eyes develop.
So why on earth would I need a 4th cat? And what if she doesn’t get along with the others? And who will pay all of the bills, anyway????
That’s the logic. But I’ve never been ruled by logic. I go with the heart. The gut. What my intuition tells me.
And my intuition tells me that maybe, just maybe, I’m supposed to take home this little bundle of fluff.
WHY???, I wonder to myself…
It seems to go back a couple of years to when I went to a hypnotherapist and underwent my very first Hypnotic Regression. And on the way back, way, way back to another time and place, we made a pit stop to see if I had a guide who wanted to make itself known.
I arrived in my mind in a circle of grass, carved round by a forest of trees surrounding it. And I saw eyes, glowing eyes, yellow, perhaps green, staring at me from the wood. Ominous? Maybe, I couldn’t tell. Then a great big Panther strode out from behind the cover of darkness. Now, I was a bit nervous- big cats bite, hard- don’t they?
Just as soon as I began wondering if I was safe, the big cat morphed into a little black kitty, rubbing my lower legs in a figure eight pattern. I was safe. This animal was here as a protector, teacher, guide.
When I got home and did an internet search, I discovered that the Black Panther, as power animal or animal totem, was all about facing your fears, reclaiming lost power, embodying your sensuous grace, and playing with the moonlit, magical darkness. “Ha!,” I thought, “Perfect! Those are all of my current struggles- Panther is the ideal companion for me!.”
So, right then, I knew my future held a black kitty. Yet, now we had three cats- none of whom were even close to black.
Nevertheless, the seed had been planted. And it was watered the previous week when my blacksmith told me a tearful tale of how one of their 3 new black kittens had met a tragic, unexpected end. The whole time he told the story, not knowing where it was going, part of me wondered if he would be asking if I knew someone to take one of these kitties. But, that wasn’t where his story went, I had to admit, a little disappointedly. Yet- now the seed was sprouting.
And so it was the following week, in a new PetSmart, that I ran unexpectedly into the cat Adoption Center. I was just toodling around trying to find what I needed when, wham, my head flew up and there I was. “Crap!,” I thought, as I KNOW I’m not supposed to EVER go by the cats in their glass enclosures, as every time I do, they all call out to my heart and my will becomes not my own.
But there I was standing in front of one of the enclosures, housing three, 4-month old kittens. I gazed at them and a black and white tuxedo marked one stood up from the soft pile of kitty bodies, and strode over to me- rubbing against the glass. “Hell- now I have to play with them,” but just a minute I promised myself.
Once seated in the Kitty Play Booth, surrounded by the 3 kitties, it soon became clear that the one who originally caught my fancy, the Tux, would never be a good fit in our house- she was all Goddess- brave, strong, adventuresome. No, our cat Squeaker would never stand for that- he required submission.
But the more gentle, shy, fluffy Black one, now she seemed to fit the bill. More outgoing then the 3rd sister, and “Oh-My-God-Soft,” she intrigued me. Ever since my childhood cat Fluffy died back when I was maybe 10 years old, I’ve always wanted another longer haired cat.
I reluctantly gave them all back to the employee and headed on home, now wondering, am I supposed to take home that cat?
Since our beloved greyhound died a few months ago, Greg has been adamant that he did not want any more pets. Not now. And he’s never been a fan of cats anyway.
When I sort of tested the waters later that day by telling Greg that I had played with the kitties and the black one interested me, he replied, “I’m surprised you didn’t come home with him.” His resolved sounded a little softer than before.
But I try, I swear I try to uphold his wishes-so really I was only toying with the idea of getting that cat. But then something took hold.
I decided to sit with it. They are kittens, usually kittens gets adopted fast. Maybe if she is there the next time I go in, that will be a sign.
For the next few days, my soulmate cat, J’oui, was especially loving, alternating between curled up and being laid flat out in my lap. My heart purr’ed with pure pleasure in these moments and I radiated such happiness, that even Greg couldn’t be immune.
Greg would sit next to me, and I could feel how my unadulterated happiness became his happiness- since all he ever wants is for me to be happy. And clearly, the right cat brings me an ecstasy that he really can’t fathom, not being a cat person.
But he had to admit it, it was so very clear: Cats equal joy to Jenn.
And so, I could feel his “No More Pets” resolve soften further. By the weekend, I said, maybe we could just go see her again, you can meet her, and we can decide. He said ok, no doubt knowing that once my heart is set on something, there is little he can do to deter me. And yet- trying to respect his boundaries- I really wasn’t certain we needed to have this cat, right now.
Even sitting in the play booth- all three kitties and us, I still wasn’t sure. I was afraid to be sure, really. What if she wasn’t The One? Yet- she was so cute!!!
And so he acquiesced to filling out an application. And I figured it would be a day or so before we heard and we could always change our minds. As the staff member ran to get the forms, my favorite song came on, It’s Friday, I’m in Love by the Cure. As I swirled Greg around the floor, I wondered if this was a sign. This song makes me deliriously happy, it’s jaunty little tune always making me move. Surely, the timing was a sign? I’ve never heard that song in public, ever! Greg, not believing in signs, shrugged.
Surely the second sign was the fact that another employee strode over to us not minutes later and said, “She’s yours- you can pick her up tomorrow.” This, even though they were closing that very minute and typically they have to fax the application to the Pet Rescue and wait a day for an answer. “Hmmm, well I guess she’s ours,” I thought. I hoped I had made the right decision.
Even the next day, driving home with the new kitty crying pitiful mew’s from the cat carrier- I still wasn’t sure. “What if this is a mistake?,” I thought, as a hawk took flight off a fence by the road right in front of my truck. Nearly hitting him, I wondered if it was a sign. Hawk is another one of my power animals, and usually a good sign for me.
With a mix of trepidation, curiosity, and hope, I pulled onto our street, and immediately I saw the familiar rainbow by the side of our home. Always arriving as a sign that “All is Well,” the sight of “my” rainbow was the second welcoming sign and I burst into tears of gratitude, knowing I had correctly followed my intuition.
This black kitty was here for a reason.
It was only two days later that I discovered why.
As I sat at my computer, the new kitty, whom we were calling Little P, short for Little Panther- clawed her way up my chair and into my lap. She snuggled all over me, reaching her little arms up to my face, playing in my hair, rubbing nose to nose, staring into my eyes, purring. We had discovered that she was set on Perma-Purr, she is always purring- my absolute favorite sound! And her gentle, curious, connecting love just broke my heart absolutely wide open in joy. I reveled in the furry softness of her coat and the fuzzy, warm softness growing in my heart- it was such luxury.
I sat in that chair with tears in my eyes, overwhelmed with happiness, so grateful that I had followed my gut. And even more grateful to Greg, for seeing how much joy the cats give me, and allowing me to open our home to yet one more pet, who appears to be carrying the healing, universal message that All is Love.
Thank you Greg- you are my angel.
And thank you Little P for joining us. I love you already!
As I finish writing this, I feel compelled to go to the back porch and look out. There it is, another gorgeous rainbow shining end to end in the back yard. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
I’ve given up believing in coincidence, now I only believe in fairy tales.
Little P expresses her agreement as she crawls into my lap and begins kneading my heart chakra. Love, indeed. And tears of joy.
Curious what Greg had to say about getting Little P?
Read his version of the story over at our Soulmate Celebration Blog: I'm Married to Jenn the Creepy Cat Lady
Readers: When has following your gut lead you right to the perfect pet, even when you weren't really looking? Please share.
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