Monday, December 28, 2009

What It Takes to Heal: Willingess to Keep Peeling the Onion, No Matter What

The other night, I had a surprising spontaneous healing session with the ponies. It was nightfall, and they were finished eating. I was just giving them some love, when Seren let me know it was time for some healing “work.”

It’s one thing when I go out with an intention to work on something for myself, but it still surprises me when THEY decide it’s time.

Lately, I’ve been doing my best to listen to my intuition, both with the horses, and without. But sometimes I still argue.

So when I’m standing next to Seren and I get the sense I’m supposed to kneel down and put my forehead on the ground, I resist. It’s cold out, the ground isn’t exactly clean…there are a million reasons, but the prompting persists, so I acquiesce.

I’m hanging out with my forehead on the ground wondering what the heck this is about and Seren touches a spot on my back, and the tears start flowing.

Wow- sometimes that’s all it takes to access a hidden issue- a posture, a simple touch.

And then words start flowing with the tears, words I don’t have any meaningful reference for, at least in this lifetime.

Words like, “I couldn’t save them. I wanted to be there. I couldn’t get there. They wouldn’t let me. I should have been there.” Over and over again, with so much grief. I get the sense it must be a past life scene. It feels like maybe my family was killed when I was away.

And then the tears clear, there is a moment of rest, I’m sitting up and Seren is taking some energy off of my shoulders and the top of my head- she bites my hat, grabbing something that no longer is serving me.

Then a new prompting occurs- “Lie down on your back” this one says.

“Are you crazy? It’s freezing out here. What if the horses step on me? Can I be safe? I’m not doing that!”

But it continues. Ok, fine. I’ll do it. So I lie back on the frozen ground, with my head out of the paddock for a little more security. And I start crying again, and shivering, with my thighs shaking. I keep saying, “I’m so cold, I’m so cold.”

I really am cold, but it seems like that I HAVE to be physically cold because that’s part of this past life scene that is being cleared- a cold and lonely death sometime, some place.

The tears continue, until they stop, and there is some peace, before the next prompting.

“Continue lying there, but put your hands behind you back.” I’m thinking, that’s crazy- but heck, it’s not any crazier then what I’ve already done, so fine- here you go. Let’s get this over with because I want to go inside where it’s warm!”

And that posture sets off an entirely new healing scene, a clearing of a fiery death by persecution it seemed. That’s not the kind of death anyone deserves.

All the while, Seren is standing watch over me, keeping me safe, assisting with clearing the energy, guiding the process. And Charm is holding space as an assistant directly across the fence.

Apparently Frolic and Little Man aren’t invited to this party, because whenever they come close, they get run off. Even the dogs aren’t allowed close by. This must be serious healing time.

And Seren plays her role perfectly, majestically, lovingly as leader of the healing herd- always letting me know when the work is done.

When I finally rise from the ground, I give all of the ponies thanks and hugs for their beautiful, willing, life-affirming service and I hurry inside to get warm.

Arriving back in, a lot later than my husband was expecting me, I utter, “Darn I’m cold!”

“Good thing I have something for you”, he says, as he hands me a huge mug of homemade hot chocolate.

And I feel like the luckiest girl in the world- surrounded by such supportive healing angels- both inside and out!!

As my own healing journey continues deeper and deeper, I am discovering that true healing really only requires one thing:

That we show up and fully ALLOW whatever needs to take place, to unfold.

Today I learned about the added power of posture to trigger that which needs to be released.

And fostered a deeper understanding that past life traumas often get carried into this life in our bodies and need to be cleared and released. Especially traumatic past deaths.

That sometimes these will come up to be cleared just when you are ready to take an important step forward that those energies may be preventing. And so they come up to be released.

Healing is about your willingness to get still, to go within, and to allow whatever feelings & energies come up, to play out in their entirety- giving them whatever words, sounds, postures, or tears come naturally, until you reach the stillness again.

Knowing that one more layer of that which no longer serves you, is gone for good.

And we need to keep showing up, peeling the layers away like an onion, until we reach the pure love that resides at the very center of us all.

And always, when you are ready, the horses stand prepared to assist us on this most amazing healing journey toward wholeness and love.

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